


take me by the hand, lead me to the land

by aces_of_academia



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Anyways, Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Discussion of Sexuality and Gender, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Introspection, also: happy is a wonderful friend and it's a fucking tragedy that everyone ignores his existance, and he figures stuff out about himself thanks to that, basically juvia educates natsu on sexualities and gender, seriously his and natsu's friendship is amazing and y'all ignore it in favor of nalu........o k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8478610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_of_academia/pseuds/aces_of_academia
Summary: It all starts the day Gajeel and Levy walk into the guild hall, hand in hand and smelling kinda strange.Or, Natsu receives a sexuality and gender education from an unexpected source, gets a reminder as to why Happy is his best friend, and figures something out about himself along the way.  One-shot about friendship and journeys of sexual discovery.





	

**Author's Note:**

> HEY EVERYONE its my first fic...in like..almost 2 years........lmaooo..................
> 
> (in my defense I wrote this in like July but my beta didn't get around to editing it until like yesterday but ANYWAYS)
> 
> Basically I wrote this because I read a great Natsu and Juvia friendship fic (which for the life of me I can't find) and wanted to write some of that myself. Plus asexual!Natsu literally NEVER gets any attention or recognition and it's basically canon in my eyes (there's sooo much evidence in the canon for it bye), so here we go, that's the fic, enjoy. Title is from Ocean Man by Ween (since Juvia is like..the ocean lady....and she enlightens him.....it works ok)

It all starts the day Gajeel and Levy walk into the guild hall, hand in hand and smelling kinda strange.

Natsu frowns as soon as they enter, completely ignoring the weird looks on their faces – and the way the entire guild has gone quiet at their entrance – in favor of tasting the air again with a small sniff.  Their usual scents have sort of… mingled, Gajeel’s rust and steel mixing with Levy’s gentle flower and paper aroma.  Along with that, they both sorta smell like sweat and something else – something odd and primal and kind of nasty – though it’s hidden under the fresh smell of strawberries and a morning shower.  Hidden, but still present.

He also briefly takes note of the fact that Levy is wearing one of Gajeel’s giant t-shirts, and Gajeel has Levy’s usual orange headband pushing back his own unruly black waves of hair, but discards this information quickly; it seems pretty useless, in his opinion.  It’s also brought back to his attention that they have the weirdest facial expressions today – Gajeel looks the same, save for this strange gleam of happiness in his scarlet eyes and the blush on his cheeks; Levy, on the other hand, looks flat-out embarrassed, but also overwhelmed with joy at the same time.

Natsu barely has time to contemplate both this and the sudden silence in the guild hall before his guildmates erupt into chaos and all but mob the two wizards before they so much as step a foot into the building.

“Oh my _god_ – Levy, I can’t believe it!” Lucy yells, grabbing her tiny friend by the arms as she jumps up and down out of pure excitement.

“So how was it?  You _have_ to tell me _everything_ ,” Cana demands, a wicked smirk on her face.

“I hope it didn’t hurt too much,” Mira adds, a worried smile on her sweet face.

“You guys used protection, right?” Evergreen says, grinning.

“W-well…” Levy trails off, overwhelmed with all the attention, “I don’t really know if I want to…. I mean, how do I describe it….”

“Over breakfast,” Erza says calmly, “with your guildmates – female ones only.”  With this, Cana places her hands on Levy’s shoulders and all but pushes her over to the bar, where the girls of Fairy Tail begin to talk in hushed voices.

Meanwhile, Natsu notices that Gajeel is getting a… somewhat different treatment from the boys of Fairy Tail.

“So, you and the bookworm huh?  Nice,” Bixlow says, smirking as he smacks the dragonslayer on the back.

“Damn, you guys have been dating for a month and you’ve already scored?  You move fast, dude,” Max comments, giving him an appreciative nod.

“You’d better treat her well – like a real man!” Elfman says loudly, crossing his enormous arms.

“So, how was it?  As good as you’d hoped?” Laxus asks, leaning on Gajeel’s shoulder with a devious smile on his face.  All the other boys lean in to hear what he has to say – except for Droy and Jet, who are sulking in the corner, for some reason.

For a moment, Gajeel just stares at them, the blush on his face long since gone.  Then, he narrows his eyes, and his mouth opens into a wicked grin.

Everyone goes _insane_ , high-fiving and pounding Gajeel on the chest and just flat-out yelling from the hype of it all.  Natsu watches in a state of increasing confusion as Gajeel dishes out around twelve fistbumps in about ten seconds flat.

“Dude, _nice_ ,” Gray says, smirking a little.  “Honestly, I didn’t think it’d be you two – with all the sexual tension around them, I thought Elfman would definitely score with Evergreen first–”

“Hey!”

“–but congrats in any case,” he finishes, holding up a hand to high-five Gajeel as if they’re old friends or something.  To Natsu’s everlasting confusion, Gajeel high-fives him back, his grin only growing.

“Yeah, I get where you’re coming from with that, but honestly, both the shrimp and I have been waiting for this for a while now,” Gajeel says, a gleam in his eyes.

The boys start yelling again, and that’s it – Natsu needs answers.

“Okay, what the heck are you all talking about?” he demands, stalking over to the group and hopping onto a bar stool, his face screwed up in concentration to show he’s ready to listen.

However, the dragonslayer is only met with blank – and somewhat irritated – looks.

“Gajeel just _scored_ last night.  With _Levy._ ”

Natsu stares at them.

“Dude, they hooked up,” Laxus says, looking annoyed.

Natsu blinks.

Gray rolls his eyes.  “They had _sex_ , flame-brain.”

Frowning, Natsu sat back in his seat.  “Oh,” he says, looking at the ground.  He takes a moment to think before looking back up, crossing his arms skeptically as he does so.  “Wait a second – then what’s the big deal?  Who gives a crap who Gajeel screws?”

All the boys groan in annoyance.  Gajeel shakes his head in irritation.

“It’s something a guy does as he’s going into manhood, dumbass,” Gray explains.  “It’s a rite of passage, for both guys and girls.”

“Yeah, that’s cool and all, but why _that_ , of all things?” Natsu asks, raising an eyebrow.

The boys exchange glances with underlying messages in each one, like _can you believe this kid?_ and _un-fucking-believable._   That, along with the looks of superiority and exasperation on their faces, as if his guildmates, his _friends_ , are dealing with an annoying child or something, rub Natsu the wrong way.

“Alright, geez,” he mutters, hopping off his bar stool and heading for the front doors.  “If you guys don’t want to tell me the super-secret importance of having sex with your girlfriend for the first time, I have better things to do.”

~~~

“So, like… what if it’s a guy and a guy instead?”

Happy sighs a little, giving his popsicle a lick before answering.  “It’s the same thing, Natsu.”

“Huh.”  Natsu stares ahead for a moment, contemplating this, before shoveling another handful of raspberry ice cream into his mouth.  When he came to find Happy to get him to explain all the shit he’d witnessed in the guild hall, Natsu found his little buddy with two ice creams and a sad look on his face – apparently, he’d tried to offer Charle one of the cold treats, and she’d turned him down in a similarly icy manner.  Natsu offered to take one of the desserts off his hands – paws, rather – in exchange for an explanation of the whole Gajeel and Levy situation.  After Natsu told him about what had occurred in the guild hall, Happy had called Natsu a complete idiot, prompting him to throw his spoon at the Exceed in irritation.  This left him with only one way to eat his ice cream.

“What about if it’s a girl and a girl?” he asks, licking his sticky fingers clean.

Groaning, Happy bites off the last of his popsicle and flops onto his tiny belly.  “It’s the same thing!  Doing the do with your girlfriend or boyfriend is a rite of passage, and that’s how it is!”

Natsu nods in understanding and stares off into space as his brain comprehends this information.  Then, he frowns again and looks back at Happy.

“But why?”

Giving an exaggeratedly loud sigh, Happy rolls onto his back and glares at Natsu.  “Because it’s something adults do all the time!  Doing it for the first time is like a step into adulthood, okay?”

Natsu hums and scratches the back of his neck.  “Yeah, I guess I get it… I just don’t understand why they were all acting like Gajeel just saved the fucking planet or something.  Or like Levy just won the Grand Magic Games single-handedly.  Isn’t the whole sex thing supposed to be private?”

“Well, yeah, for _some_ people,” Happy says, waving a paw.  “But some people like to make it more obvious that they _loooove_ each other.”

“Hmm… okay….”

“Then for other people, they don’t want other people knowing who they do or what they screw; that’s partially because some people think it’s bad to get it on with people who’re the same gender as you, and you can’t really tell who those people are since asking about it would be _weird_ ,” Happy continues, watching Natsu to make sure he’s listening.

“Huh?  Why would people care who other people score with?  It’s none of _their_ business – I mean… unless the people who scored… made a big deal… out of it…?” Natsu says slowly, confused all over again.  When there’s no answer, he glances up to his friend.  “Happy?”

Unfortunately, at this point, Wendy and Charle decide to walk by, capturing Happy’s attention for the foreseeable future.  The blue Exceed leaps from his rock, swiftly abandoning Natsu as he races towards his fellow Exceed and Natsu’s fellow dragonslayer.

“Charle, my love!  I hope your day has been wonderful since our paths last crossed,” Happy says passionately, giving a tiny bow to the white Exceed.  Charle, on the other hand, pointedly ignores him, giving Happy a sharp glare before turning up her nose and walking past him.

Ignoring Happy’s abandonment, Natsu smiles at Wendy.  “Hey, Wendy, how’s it going?”

The smaller dragonslayer smiles back at him warmly.  “Hello, Natsu.  To be honest, it’s been a pretty strange morning for me; first, I was asked to leave the guild hall before I even had a chance to eat some breakfast–”

“Same here!  Er, kind of.”

“–and then I found out Charle is lactose-intolerant!  It’s all pretty crazy, huh?”

“Yes, _crazy_ ,” Charle repeats, looking irritated as Happy watches her with renewed shock and a bit of guilt.

“Well, in any case,” Natsu continues, as Happy begins to spill out an apology to Charle, “d’you think it’s safe to return to the guild hall by now?”

Wendy’s face screws up as she thinks.  “I suppose so… who _knows_ if they’re finished talking about whatever it was they were talking about.”

Natsu nods.  “Yeah, I guess we– wait a second!  Happy – we’re not done!  Tell me more about people and stuff!”

Sighing as he tears himself away from staring at Charle, Happy shrugs at Natsu.  “I dunno what else to tell you; some girls like girls, some guys like guys, some of both of ’em like both, some like neither – it’s complicated!  And if you wanna ask someone, ask Erza; I’m pretty sure she’s got it _bad_ for that scary lady over at Mermaid Heel!”

Natsu gapes at him.  “Wait – but – _both?!_   And – or _neither?!_   And Erza is – wait, I don’t get it!  Happy!”

Unfortunately, Happy is already soaring off into the sky, hot on Charle’s tail as the latter Exceed flies to the guild hall with Wendy trailing behind on the ground.  Natsu stares at them as they grow smaller in the distance, his mouth gaping, before huffing in annoyance and throwing his empty cup of ice cream into a nearby trash can with, undoubtedly, an unnecessary level of aggression.

~~~

“Okay – I need your help.  Erza would probably kill me if I asked about this, and Lucy would punch me for invading other people’s privacy, and I don’t think I should talk to Mirajane or Cana or any of the guys about this, so it’s up to you to explain it!  Please, you’re the only one I can turn to here!”

Instead of watching for her reaction, Natsu keeps his forehead firmly pressed to the floor.  Perhaps bowing to this degree could be considered going a bit overboard in this situation, but Natsu honestly doesn’t care; he needs a proper explanation, and _fast_ , before he ends up getting beat up by Erza or something, because that would somehow happen in this situation.  It would.

“U-um… if Natsu needs help, then Juvia supposes she could help him….”

Natsu whips his head up at light speed to stare at the water wizard, eyes full of hope.  “You really mean it?!”

Juvia looks startled, but she nods nonetheless.  “O-of course!  If Juvia is the only one who can help you, she will do her best to not let you down!”

Natsu grin widely, practically glowing as he takes a seat beside her at the guild’s bar.  After Happy ditched him, Natsu went back to his house and spent the afternoon contemplating the information he’d already gathered.  Unfortunately, he reached two conclusions: he needed more information to fully understand what he’d already been told, and that unless he had a death wish, asking Erza to explain, as Happy suggested, would be a _terrible_ idea.  Or Lucy, or Mirajane, or Cana… each for their own individual reasons, asking any of them to explain sexualities to him would be _very not good_ for his health, mental or physical.  And any of the boys of Fairy Tail were out of the question – if Natsu asked Gajeel, or Gray, or Laxus about why some people like to screw guys _and_ girls, he’d likely end up with a guild-wide brawl on his hand.  Which, of course, sounds both entertaining and fun, but – no.  That’s not his objective today.

Therefore, after remembering her obsession with love, Natsu realized that the logical person to ask about this sort of thing was none other than Juvia.  By the time he returned to the guild hall, it was almost completely empty for the night, save for a few stragglers – one of whom was, thankfully, the wizard he was searching for.

“Wait a sec; what are you still doing here, anyways?” Natsu asks, grabbing a lone cup of juice someone left on the counter before chugging it, because _damn_ is he hungry.  That ice cream feels like forever ago now.

Juvia looks slightly embarrassed as she fiddles with her hair, her eyes straying on the wooden surface of the bar.  “Juvia is… waiting for Gray, since he went on a mission earlier with Erza, Wendy, Charle, and Happy…. He told Juvia not to come, so Juvia thought she would wait until he came back to the guild hall to welcome him home, but by now… perhaps he already went to his dorm….”

Natsu frowns a little as he listens.  “Man, you should really stop holding out for Gray – or maybe just confront him about this whole thing.  Ice princess is a total idiot; if you don’t go talk to him about this face-to-face, he’s not really gonna get it, y’know?”

Juvia fidgets a little, an uncertain frown on her face.  Natsu watches her for a moment before shaking his head.

“In any case… ah, right; so, d’you mind explaining to me what Happy was talking about when he said some people can like both guys and girls?  And some people can like neither?”

“Of course!” Juvia says with a nod, the gloomy expression clearing from her face as determination shines through.  “Now, to start… well… there is such a thing as being pansexual or bisexual–”

“Wait – there are people out there who wanna screw _pans?_   And _bikes?_   N-no way!” Natsu gasps, looking thoroughly shocked.

Juvia smiles a little at his surprise.  “No, Natsu; nobody wants to have sex with a pan, or a bike.”

“Then what about Max and his broom – no, okay, I don’t wanna question that.  Continue, please.”

“Well, this is actually quite easy to explain.  Now that you mention it…. You know how many wheels a bicycle has, Natsu?” Juvia asks kindly.

“Two, of course.”

“That’s right – and what about a tricycle?  Or a unicycle?”

Natsu frowns.  “A tricycle has… three, and a unicycle has one… but what does that have to do with sexualities?”

“Juvia is getting to that,” Juvia replies, smiling.  “You see, all three words contain the word ‘cycle’, right?”

“Right…?”

“Exactly.  And each one has a different prefix in front of it, the purpose of which is to indicate a certain feature about the object holding the name,” Juvia continues, apparently unaware of the growing confusion on Natsu’s face.  “For instance, the prefix ‘bi–’ means ‘two’; thus, a bicycle has two wheels.”

Understanding dawns on Natsu’s face, and he grins widely.  “Wait, so – does ‘tri–’ mean three?  And ‘uni–’ means one?!  Oh, wow – I never made that connection before!  That’s so cool!”

Juvia nods, an amused smile lighting up her face.  “So, if someone is bisexual, that mean…?”

Natsu claps his hands together excitedly.  “They like both guys and girls then, right?  That’s why they put ‘bi–’ at the beginning – because it’s for the two genders, guys and girls!”

“Exactly!” Juvia says, smiling brightly.  “Though, it _is_ a bit of an outdated term, now….”

“How d’you mean?” Natsu asks, tipping his head to one side.  “And while we’re on that, what does pansexual mean?  Is that the one where you don’t like guys _or_ girls?”

“Actually, it’s quite the opposite – a pansexual person likes all genders,” Juvia explains.

“All genders… wait a sec, are there more than two genders?” Natsu asks, looking genuinely surprised at this new bit of information.

“Of course!  How can Juvia explain… see, if someone is assigned female as their gender when they’re born, but somewhere along the line they discover they feel more like a boy, they can dress like a boy and even use magic to look like one, and ask people to call them a boy, because that’s who they really are.  The same goes for boys who realize they are actually meant to be girls; it’s called being transgender, and it’s more common than you might think.  If you stay the same gender you were born as, you are cisgender – that’s what you and Juvia both are.  Then, there are people – born as either girls or boys – who don’t fit into either gender; these people are agender.  There are people who also fit into both genders, and alternate between them; they’re what you call genderfluid.  There are other genders aside from these, but these are the most widespread and common ones,” Juvia concludes, sighing a little as she finishes her long tirade.  Natsu nods, frowning a little as he absorbs the massive amount of new information.

“So… if someone is born a guy and feels more like a girl, then they’re a girl now?”

“Correct.”

“And if someone is – shit, what was it – agender, that’s it, do I call them she or he?”

“Usually, agender people prefer to be called they and them.”

“And what do I call a genderfluid person?!”

“Whatever they ask you to call them; usually it will change, rather consistently, over time, between she and he.”

“I see….”  Natsu nods again, rubbing the back of his neck for a long moment.  Finally, when the silence has carried on between them, he smiles widely.

“Okay; that all makes sense, I suppose… but wait – do I know anyone who’s a transgender?  Or agender – or genderfluid?”

Juvia smiles a little at his proud usage of his newfound terminology.  “Juvia is unaware of anyone who is agender at the moment, or genderfluid, but she does know that they exist in the world.  However, Juvia does know of transgender people in both Sabertooth and Lamia Scale, and, more specifically, transgender girls in Mermaid Heel.”

“Whoa… that’s so cool,” Natsu says, awestruck by the entire situation.  “So then – pansexual people will screw anyone of any gender, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then…”  Natsu trails off, thinking.  “What about bisexual people?  Will they only get with people who are – whatsits – cisgender?”

Juvia frowns a little bit.  “Actually, no – that’s why Juvia said the term was outdated.  See, the term bisexual was made when people thought there _were_ only two genders: boys and girls.  However, with the emergence of new terminology to define other genders in the past few decades, the term needed to be revised; thus, the word pansexual was brought about.”

“Okay, that makes sense… so people don’t use the term bisexual anymore?” Natsu asks.

“Actually, they do,” Juvia explains.  “At this point, because of the continued use of the term bisexual, even after pansexual was brought about, it has come to mean the same thing as pansexual.”

“So, even though the name means ‘two’, now it means all genders…yeah?” Natsu says, thinking out loud.

“Exactly,” Juvia says.  “Now, it’s just a matter of preference; whether you want to be known as a bisexual or a pansexual.”

“Huh… so wait, do we know anyone who’s bisexual?  Or pansexual?” Natsu demands, bouncing up and down a little in excitement.

“W-well…” Juvia thinks, overwhelmed a little by Natsu’s enthusiasm.  “Juvia does not know for sure, but from what she can tell, Lucy seems to be bisexual.”

Gaping, Natsu stares at the water wizard.  “Whoa – seriously?!”  Lucy likes guys _and_ girls – and all the other genders, too?!”

“Well, Juvia doesn’t know about that – Juvia has just noticed that Lucy does seem to appreciate the aesthetic of the female body as well as the male’s, judging from her conversations with Erza and Levy and Mirajane…” Juvia rambles, suddenly flustered.

“Holy… I never noticed…” Natsu admits, blinking in shock.  Suddenly, a memory from earlier in the day resurfaces, and he jumps a little.  “What about Erza – Happy told me she likes someone from Mermaid Heel!”

Juvia blinks.  “Oh, do you mean Kagura?  Yes – Juvia has noticed something between her and Erza for a long while now, ever since the Grand Magic Games.”

“So, are they – y’know – _together?_ ” Natsu demands, his voice dropping down into a whisper.

“Juvia thinks so,” Juvia replies, her tone and expression completely casual.  “Juvia knows Kagura has come to Erza’s dorm room at Fairy Hills on several occasions recently, claiming to be there for sparring practice with their swords.  However, when Juvia goes down to spar with Lisanna later on, none of the dummies in the training room are ever destroyed, nor is anything else in the room!”

“So wait – did Erza score with Kagura?!”

“I-it’s possible,” Juvia stammers, suddenly blushing madly at the thought.

“I see… so I guess Happy was right,” Natsu mutters, scratching his hair.

Juvia blinks in confusion, embarrassment forgotten.  “What did Happy say?  Something aside from Erza and Kagura being together?”

“Hm?  Oh, yeah; Happy mentioned something about people who score with other people of the same gender not mentioning that they scored to anyone else because apparently, there are people out there who think two people of the same gender shouldn’t do the do together,” Natsu explains, crossing his arms.  “I think that’s stupid; who gives a crap who other people have sex with?  People should focus on their own lives, and not on other people’s; nor should they try to stop other people from doing what they want, since it has no effect on them in the first place!”

He huffs loudly and frowns at the ground for a moment.  Then, when the silence stretches on, he glances up to see Juvia smiling at him.  “…What?”

Laughing a little, Juvia shakes her head.  “It’s nothing.  That’s just… a very kind philosophy you have, Natsu.”

“Yeah, well… people should just mind their own business, y’know?” Natsu says, scratching the back of his neck uncertainly.

Thankfully, Juvia nods in agreement.  “That does seem to make the most sense… Juvia wishes everyone in the world saw it in the same way as you, Natsu,” she says softly, almost to herself.

For a moment, Natsu wonders what this conversation means to Juvia – wonders if she, herself, is under one of these categories, bisexual or pansexual or genderfluid or transgender, and has had to face people with philosophies so unlike Natsu’s in the past.  He wonders if the reason she knows so much about this particular subject is because she’s directly involved in it somehow.  Has his asking about it brought up bad memories for her?  Natsu frowns a little at this idea; he really hopes not.

Just as he’s about to open his mouth and ask, Juvia gives a little clap and clears her face of that still, vague sorrow with a bright smile.  “Anyways!  Was Natsu asking something about people who prefer to have sex with nobody, regardless of gender?” she asks.

Natsu blinks, his earlier thoughts vanishing like smoke, and gasps.  “Hey, yeah, I did!  So what’s the deal with that, anyways?”

Juvia nods.  “These people are called asexual; they don’t experience sexual attraction, meaning that they would prefer not to have sex with anyone, regardless of gender,” she explains.

Natsu furrows his brow in concentration.  This word, above all the other ones, somehow sounds… right.

“Asexual, huh?  Hmm…hm.”

Watching him think, Juvia blinks in confusion as Natsu’s expression becomes increasingly intense.  “….Natsu?  Is everything okay?”

Natsu hums in affirmation.  “Yeah, yeah, everything’s cool – I was just wondering if… maybe…. Uhh….”

His voice trails away as confusion once again takes over his expression – mostly due to the sudden ecstasy on Juvia’s face.  Groaning inwardly, Natsu knows that this could only mean one thing; the answer is probably right behind him, as annoying as ever–

“Hey Juvia, flame-brains.”

Natsu sighs as Juvia, with hearts in her eyes, immediately rushes from her bar stool to hug Gray, who has just entered the guild hall with Erza, Wendy, Charle, and Happy in tow.  The aforementioned blue Exceed floats down from the air, his wings vanishing as he lands on Natsu’s shoulder with a grin on his tiny face.

“Hey, Natsu!  Figured out the sexual workings of the human mind yet?” Happy asks tauntingly.

“I’m getting there!” Natsu snaps waspishly.  He opens his mouth to say more, but upon finding that he has no idea how to say what he wants to say, settles for glaring at the bar’s wooden surface, annoyed at the fact that he was just ditched for _Gray_ , of all people.

Happy notices his irritation and jumps down onto the bar, a frown on his little face.  “Aw, c’mon Natsu, I was just kidding!  Do you need me to explain anything else to you?”

Natsu shakes his head.  “Naw, I’m good; I’m just thinking about some stuff Juvia told me.”  Hopping down from his bar stool, Natsu shoves his hands into his pockets and smiles back at his Exceed.  “In any case, I think it’s about time we head over and bother Lucy; we haven’t even seen her all day!”

Instead of jumping up at this suggestion excitedly, Happy remains standing on the bar, staring at Natsu as if he just grew a second head.

“….What?  Is there something on my face?”

“Natsu… you’re… _thinking_ about something?!  I leave for one afternoon and the world descends into _anarchy!!_ ”

“S-shut up, ya stupid fleabag!”

~~~

Outside, it’s a perfect night.

The summer air is just warm enough to be considered the ideal temperature, and just dry enough to _not_ be considered disgustingly humid.  The streets are practically empty, allowing Natsu and Happy’s shadows to be the only ones dancing across the smooth cobblestone streets thanks to the soft, golden glow of the streetlights.  Many houses have already shut their lights off for the night, allowing for a rare, unadulterated view of the beautiful night sky.  The inky blackness is lit up with a million tiny points of light, as if someone spilled salt across the black countertop of the heavens.  This night is, by all definitions of it, a perfect night.

And yet, consumed within his own thoughts, Natsu barely notices.

He can’t stop thinking about all the things Juvia told him – about bisexuals, and pansexuals, and all the different genders he didn’t know anything about until now.  He ponders silently on the idea that anyone he knows could be any of these things, with or without him even having realized or noticed it – not that he has a problem with that, obviously.  It just strikes him as fascinating that he completely hasn’t noticed.

And yet, above all, there’s one word he can’t get out of his head – one term that just… _clicked_ with him, as soon as she told him what it means.

Asexual.

Natsu turns the word over in his mind.  Considers what it means.

Ever since he was young, Natsu assumed he would do what everybody does – get married, have kids, the whole package.  Pretty much every adult he’s known in his life – save for Igneel, of course – has done so; Makarov, Macao, Wakaba… even Gildarts had Cana, unbeknownst to him, after marrying (and subsequently leaving) her mom.  And what with his guildmates finding their own significant others over the past few years – Gajeel and Levy, Erza and Kagura, Elfman and Evergreen, Laxus and Freed, Bisca and Alzack… hell, even Wendy and Chelia are dating, now – Natsu just assumed that he would follow suit, maybe getting together with Lucy, or possibly Lisanna.  He thought that’s where his life would lead, since that’s where everyone else’s seemed to.

But now….

Now, Natsu thinks back to the times he’s seen Lucy’s fancy underwear, or seen the girls of the guild naked in hot springs, or Erza in her more skimpy armors.  During any of those times, the people Natsu was with – usually Gray, Lucy, Happy, and Erza – all seemed to have some kind of reaction to the situation that Natsu now realizes might’ve come from a sexual basis.  Seeing Lucy’s underwear made Gray and Erza blush madly, whereas Natsu, upon seeing the thin fabric, only wondered when on earth she would wear something so tiny.  When the boys of Fairy Tail teamed up to peek in on the girls in the hot springs, blushes in their cheeks and creepy grins on their faces, Natsu would tag along, of course – but only because he wanted to see the girls flip out.  It is, in Natsu’s opinion, _hilarious_ to see the girls flustered and furious (even if Erza does beat them all up afterwards).

Now that he thinks back, he realizes that the other boys must’ve wanted to sneak in to see the girls’ naked bodies – which are admittedly attractive, but not as interesting to Natsu as seeing them all flip out.  And then, during the Grand Magic Games, while watching Erza fight in her more revealing armors, Natsu remembers the reactions of some of the people in the crowd – total and complete joy.  At the time, Natsu thought those people felt the same way he did – watching Erza kick some serious ass, regardless of her outfit, is one of his favorite things to see, considering how amazingly Erza fights.  However, thinking back, it would make more sense if the people in the crowd were merely excited because of the amount of skin Erza was showing, and not, for some reason, the awesome fight she was in the middle of winning.  Natsu frowns at this idea; the fact that people enjoy his guildmate’s appearance over her fighting skill rubs him the wrong way.

Natsu sighs; in any case, in every instance he can remember his friends (and even people he doesn’t know) getting some kind of rise or sexual satisfaction out of erotic kinds of situations, whenever Natsu was there, he just… didn’t feel the same way.  Blinking, Natsu realizes right then that he has no sexual interest in anyone, boy or girl or neither or both.  He feels no urge to have sex with anyone at all.

_“These people are called asexual; they don’t experience sexual attraction, meaning that they would prefer not to have sex with anyone, regardless of gender.”_

Asexual, huh?

Natsu grins widely; well, that settles that.  Maybe it’d be a good idea, next time he accidentally gropes Lucy, to tell her that he’s asexual, so she has nothing to worry about as far as whether or not he has sexual intents when he accidentally grabs her.

“Hey, what’s with the creepy grin?  And why are you so quiet, anyways?”

Natsu starts a little and glances up at Happy’s confused expression.  What with being so utterly lost in his own thoughts, he almost forgot about his little buddy, floating in the air right next to him.

“Ah, it’s nothing much; just some of the stuff Juvia told me about,” Natsu replies casually, shoving his hands into his pocket.

“Yeah?  What kinda stuff?”  Happy asks, looking curious now.

“Well…” Natsu starts.  He ponders silently for a moment on how to tell Happy his new revelation – there’s no doubt that out of everyone, his best friend should be the first one to know about this – and pulls one hand from his pocket to scratch his hair.  “Well.  Juvia was telling my about all the different genders and sexualities in the world – like, how there’s bisexuals and pansexuals, who like people of all genders, and genderfluid people, who change their gender when they want.”

“Yeah!  You didn’t know about all that?” Happy inquires, smirking a little.

“Well, now I do!” Natsu snaps, flushing a little in annoyance.  “Anyways… there was just one term she told me about that I didn’t know about before – one term that just sounded _right_.”

“Yeah?  How so?” Happy asks, looking genuinely interested now.

“I dunno how to explain it.  When she told me what it meant, it just kinda _clicked_ with me, y’know?  The same way as, say… when you punch someone just right and you knock ‘em out, so you know to do that same thing in the same way on the next guy!” Natsu explains excitedly, waving his hands in the air as he talks.  “Or when you eat some really good fire that just _agrees_ with you, and makes your own flames burn even hotter!”

“I don’t quite understand that, but sure.”

They continue to walk leisurely, their conversation dropping into silence.  Natsu slips his hands back into his pockets and admires the passing houses, his mind filled with thoughts of deliciously hot flames – right up until he realizes two things simultaneously.  He hasn’t finished telling Happy what he wanted to tell him – and that the Exceed is staring at him with a somewhat impatient look on his face, arms crossed as he floats on.

“Well?  What was the term?” Happy demands.  “You can’t just start a story and then stop right in the middle!  And it sounded so important, too!”

“Right, right – sorry buddy, I was thinking about fire,” Natsu admits, grinning as he scratches the back of his head sheepishly.  “Where was I… oh, yeah.  There was just _one_ term–”

“I _know_ all that already, just spit it out!!”

“Okay, okay,” Natsu says, holding up his hands in fake surrender.  “Honestly, I could keep going on and on about this all night, but the most important thing is this: what with all the stuff you and Juvia told me, I think I kinda might’ve figured something else out along the way – something about myself.”

Happy blinks at this, and gives a little nod – both a gesture to continue and a sign of support and attentiveness.

Natsu nods back, scratching his face.  “Well, basically… I think I’m probably asexual.”

Keeping his eyes on the ground, Natsu waits for his buddy to say something – a sign that he at least heard what Natsu said.    Except there’s… nothing.  As the silence stretches on, Natsu’s heart beings to slowly speed up.  He didn’t consider it before, but – is there something wrong with being asexual?  Is it considered a bad thing?  Juvia didn’t tell him that, but then again, she didn’t tell him _anything_ bad, or good for that matter – she simply gave him information.  They dabbled a bit on how some people don’t approve of certain practices, but they didn’t delve deep into it – and they only discussed asexual stuff _after_ that!  Maybe Happy – maybe _everybody_ thinks it’s bad to be asexual, and he didn’t even know.  Or maybe Happy just doesn’t know what asexual means–

“WhaaaAAAAAAT?!  Natsu, you – you’re _asexual?!_ ”

Natsu jumps a bit at his friend’s sudden outburst, then glares at him and his comically outraged expression.  Crossing his arms, he gives Happy a challenging look while silently hoping his suspicions aren’t about to be proven correct.  “Yeah?  Is there a problem with that?”

Happy shakes his little head dutifully, still holding on to that exaggerated expression of disbelief.  “No sir, I have no problem with it.  It’s just that – you!  Natsu!  How can _you_ be asexual?!”

“What, is that hard to believe or something?” Natsu shoots back – and frowns a little as he registers his words, seconds after they come out of his mouth.  With everything he just considered minutes ago – from the groping, to the hot springs spying missions, to the underwear raids – well.  From an outside perspective, he realizes it must seem _very_ unlikely that he’s not interested in girls, at the very least.

“ _Hard_ to _believe?!_ ” Happy yells, confirming Natsu’s thought.  “You – you’re constantly spying on the girls when they’re in the hot springs, along with all the other guys!”

“Hey, I do that to watch them freak out, not to see their boobs or something gross and creepy like that!  You’ve seen Lucy when she’s screaming and trying to throw shit at us – it’s funny as hell!”

“And you’ve looked through Lucy’s underwear with me!  Multiple times!” Happy yelps, waving his tiny arms around in exasperation.

“Again, watching her flip at us is _hilarious_.  I don’t know what you’re seeing, but it must not be the same thing, buddy,” Natsu says dismissively, raising an eyebrow at his Exceed friend.

“But – you – you _grope_ her!  All the time!” Happy wails, flopping on the ground as he throws out his last card desperately.

“Accidentally!  And besides, when I _do_ end up groping her, it ain’t like I’m getting any kind of weird sexual pleasure out of it or something,” Natsu replies, giving Happy a weird look.  Sighing a little, he sits down on the ground next to him, dangling his feet over the edge of the sidewalk and just over the river.  He watches the smooth movement of the water and the reflection of the stars on its glassy black surface as he gathers his words.

“Yeah… I dunno.  It just kinda feels _right_ to me, somehow.  It just feels like it… _fits_ me.  Like being friends with you and Lucy, or wearing my scarf ‘cause Igneel gave it.  It kinda feels like it’s… part of me?  I mean, I still have to think on it a little more, and I’m still pretty young so it’s not like I’m _definitely_ gonna be asexual forever – but for now?  It’s just… who I am, I think.  And once I figure out whether or not this is who I am for the time being – which I think it is, but I just wanna make sure – I think I’m gonna tell them.  Everyone, that is – Lucy, and Erza, and Gray and Juvia, too.  Maybe Wendy, but I don’t know if she knows about all this yet….”

Natsu trails off, his eyes still stuck on the mirror image of the night sky.  The silence stretches on, but this time, Natsu lets it.  He knows, somehow, that right next to him, his little buddy is thinking all of this over, carefully considering all of the words and ideas Natsu has dumped on him in the past few minutes and thinking of what to say next.  Instead of pressing him for an answer, Natsu does what he knows he should: he watches the reflection of the stars, gleaming and beautiful, and doesn’t say anything at all.  He doesn’t have to wait long.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Happy nod.

“Okay.”

Natsu turns to look at him, silently asking for more.  Thankfully, Happy understands, and shrugs.  “I…I dunno.  This is unexpected, for _sure_ , but it’s not as if I’m not gonna be friends with you or something over something as simple as this.  It’s who you are, Natsu, and if you feel like you’re asexual?  Well, then I can’t call myself your best friend if I don’t stay by your side and respect that, can I?”

Natsu blinks at Happy once.  Twice.

Then, a grin splits his face, and he reaches down and scoops Happy up into a huge bear hug (or would it be a dragon hug?).  “Aw, _yeah_ – see, Happy, this is why you’re the best!  I love you, buddy!”

Choking slightly, Happy wriggles free from Natsu’s death grip and salutes him as he unfurls his wings once again.  “Of course!  I’ll always stick by your side, no matter what!”

Natsu grins at him once more, and then waves a hand, gesturing for his buddy to follow him.  “Alright, let’s go visit Lucy!  I bet we can steal some of her food and get her to yell at us!”

“Man, we haven’t seen her _all day_ – what does she even _do_ without us?!”

“Who knows, man?  At the very least I can tell her about my whole asexual awakening – ooh, maybe she can help me think about whether or not I’m asexual!  D’you think she’d let me borrow her brain for a little?”

“Natsu, that’s not how it works!!”

“Pfft, who cares?  Let’s go!”

“Aye, sir!”

**Author's Note:**

> SO THAT'S THE FIC, I hope I did well describing all the gender and sexuality stuff. If I did a poor job with anything at all, please tell me and I will fix it.
> 
> If you have a problem with my headcanon of Natsu being asexual, however, you can kindly fuck off. Honestly, half the reason I'm posting this is because I'm so sick of the overwhelming heteronormativity in this fandom. Despite the numerous chances to ship a lot of good m/m ships and a LOT OF GOOD F/F SHIPS, I've found that basically every popular ship is m/f - even the crack ships. And I'm sick of it. So, here's ace Natsu, bi Lucy, and all my favorite gay pairings put in the background (Kagerza, Fraxus, and Chendy). Honestly, I would've given these pairings a more central role rather than just mentioning them, but this fic is meant to be centered around Natsu's realization of his sexuality and his friendships with Juvia and Happy, not shipping. If I do write more shipping stuff for Fairy Tail in the future, it'll likely be Kagerza or Chendy... but I'm neck-deep in JJBA and RvB so that probably won't be for a while lmao.
> 
> On that note - I should mention this will probably be one of the last FT fics I post. I've got one long FMAB thing coming at some point, and then it'll be JJBA and RvB for a good long while. Just a heads up.
> 
> In the meantime, hmu on tumblr at aces-of-academia.tumblr.com to chat about FT or whatever


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